Service Facsimiles

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Service Facsimiles

1. “Facsimiles” refers to mental image pictures. And “service” refers to these particular mental image pictures being of service to the person. A service facsimile serves a person by giving them explanations for how right they are (and therefore how wrong someone else is) and justifies any failures or inabilities. It’s an aberrated means of getting sympathy from people as way to get them to help or cooperate with one’s own goals or wishes. It compels one to make others wrong in order to prove their own rightness.

Example:

Laura dreamed of being a ballerina. But her ballet teacher told her she didn’t have the right build for it and that there was no point in trying. The teacher refused to accept Laura for lessons. Laura felt really rejected. She was so miserable that her mother tried to pick up her spirits by taking her out for ice cream and buying her new clothes at the mall. Though Laura’s mother was trying to help, Laura took this sympathy as a right to feel victimized. She used it explain how wrong the teacher was for not giving her a chance and how right Laura herself was for having such a lofty dream.

That scenario helped cement in the service facsimile Laura has in this area. She uses it over and over in life. For example, any time she feels she can’t get her way, she turns to ice cream for comfort. And does a little “therapy shopping” for a new dress or new pair of jeans. At work, Laura has an overbearing boss who triggers her service facsimile by telling Laura she doesn’t have the talent to learn new skills at the job place and such. Laura falls back on her old thought process. At the end of the day she complains to her best friend about how wrong her boss is for treating her this way and explains how right she is by working so hard and giving everything she has to the company where she works.

Service facsimiles can be particularly vicious. Take the example above. Laura’s ballet teacher and her boss both have flaws. And we can agree that the way they’ve treated Laura isn’t ok. But the though process in Laura’s mind attached to this is now hindering her. Laura isn’t wrong to see the flaws in the ballet teacher or her boss. But Laura is now trapping herself in the never-ending cycle of compulsively making herself right and those others wrong. She needs sympathy and wants others to recognize how she’s been wronged. Laura would be so much happier if she could simply recognize the flaws in these other people’s behavior, but then go on to work toward her own goals without these life-hindering compulsions. She could even proactively take action to remedy the behavior from these other people if it made sense to do so, but do it in such a way that it helps them and without having to make anyone wrong.

Service Facsimiles are thoroughly addressed on The Bridge at Grade IV.

 

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